


The Path to being a fully-fledged Vampire

by Supernaturalpotterholmes



Category: Fedez (Musician) RPF, MIKA (Musician) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Crack, Fedez being a fuckboy, Fedez screaming, I wrote this in creative writing class, M/M, Swearing, Vampires, Xfactor Italia, allusions to raccoons being kept as pets, but i still wrote creativly, i guess, it was mostly insane, just in a vampire sorta way, my friend Emily called it 'campy', riga mortis, technically character death but kinda not, wasn't the class work, xfactor - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-11-20 13:50:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11336805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Supernaturalpotterholmes/pseuds/Supernaturalpotterholmes
Summary: Mika was planning on waiting until the warm comfort of his London home to undergo his all important vampire transformation, but when Andy accidentally bites him, he has to try and survive as a vampire in the worst possible place for vampires: In the very heart of Italy itself.I tried to make that sound way more dramatic then it actually is.This definitely shouldn't be as long as it is.





	The Path to being a fully-fledged Vampire

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy!

“Andy” Mika whined, clutching the newly made puncture marks on his neck. Andy grinned and retracted his distinctive sharp fangs back into his mouth. 

“I told you not to bite me until we got back to London. How do you expect me to avoid the sun in Italy?” 

“Oops” Andy smirked, ruffling Mika’s messy curls. “I guess I just got a bit carried away.” Mika rolled his eyes and grabbed a small pack of tissue to clean the blood still on Andy’s lips, and the blood on his neck. 

They were in Milan for the filming of XFactor season 9. The first auditions were to be held that day, and Fedez, Elio and Skin were sure to notice to two small holes in his neck, not to mention all of the vampiric abilities and weaknesses he would get.   
“Italy is literally the worst place I could be for my transformation, Andy! It’s always really sunny, everything has garlic in it, there are crucifixes everywhere and how am I supposed to get ready for filming if I can’t see myself in the mirror?” Mika moaned. Andy shrugged.

“Not my problem.” 

“How am I supposed to hide the marks? Not to mention everything else. What if my vampiric strength kicks in and I turn the judges table to sawdust or something?” 

“Then the Council of Rogue Nosferatu will be very angry. Revealing the existence of vampires violates Dracula Code 40 Section 12 article AB negative: The Secrecy of the Transylvanian collective.” Andy explained. Mika nodded in understanding. A vampire in Chile had violated this rule and was forced to stand outside the meeting bunker because no one would invite him inside. They had done this one minute for every year of his age. The poor guy had to stand outside for a month and a half and everyone inside had got smashed on Demonic Rum and type O. 

“What should I do?” Mika panicked. 

“Just wear a scarf.” Andy suggested. “No-one would suspect anything. They will just think that you are being fashionable.” 

“But I’m never fashionable!” Mika pointed out. “If I wear normal clothing, people will get suspicious!”

“It’s true that you do usually look like an exploded bag of skittles, but the gay stereotypes will work in your favour!” 

 

Andy parked the car in the empty car park and switched off the engine. Mika was still looking a little nervous so Andy leaned over and ruffled his hair. 

“You’ll do great, and they won’t notice a thing. Its fading anyway, even if they do notice, they will just see a small bruise on your neck. They won’t link that to vampirism.” 

“I don’t want them to think it’s that either!” Mika hissed. 

“It’s better than the alternative. The Council of Nosferatu are especially mean to newly turned vampires who don’t know the laws very well yet.” Mika didn’t look reassured so Andy climbed out of the car and walked over to Mika’s side, pulling him out of the car and hugging him. 

“It will be fine. The existence of vampires is still a secret so they won’t immediately think of that anyway.” Mika snuffled a bit into Andy’s neck. He had been a vampire for a little while and his skin used to feel cold as ice, but felt slightly warmer.  
“You feel less cold” Mika muttered.

“It’s because you’re a vampire too. You are undead so your body is cooling down. Eventually you will be the same temperature as me.” Andy explained. Mika smiled.

“Watch out for tonight though. Riga mortis is such a bitch.” Mika giggled and then clambered out of the car, ready to go in.

The others had already arrived. They all turned up early, so they decided to hang out in Fedez’s dressing room.

Elio and Skin were sat on repulsive velvet blue sofa. Mika and Andy decided to sit on the hideous lime green monstrosity and leave Fedez to his patchwork armchair. The rapper typed in the secret code to open the classified floor panel. Inside, was three bottles of white wine, two bottles of red, some schnapps, six cans of 7up, 12 joints of cheap weed, the crumbling remains of mouldy dog treats he had been snacking on last year and a child’s storm trooper costume that was a few sizes too big for him.   
Fedez slowly poured the wine into pacman shot glasses he had gotten off the internet and handed it out to each person. Mika was annoyed. How was he going to get drunk on that tiny amount of alcohol?   
‘If I can’t get drunk’ Mika thought. ‘I’ll annoy Andy instead.’ 

Mika crawled across the sofa towards Andy who was rapidly sinking into the sofas cushions. He sat on Andy’s lap and curled up with his head on Andy’s shoulder. Andy brought his arms around Mika’s back to hold him there, and Mika decided to begin to be annoying. 

He pulled the raccoon out of his pocket and placed it on the floor behind the sofa. It scampered off into the corner. 

Andy could feel Mika’s still slightly warm hands reach into his pocket and grab the raccoon he had put there earlier and release it into the room. Mika was still cooling as time went on. Andy predicted that Riga Mortis wouldn’t set in until they got home. Thank goodness for small miracles. 

Fedez turned away from the secret locks on his floor panel and spotted Mika’s new position on Andy. Just as he opened his mouth to begin teasing him, the raccoon jumped on his head and messed up his hair. Fedez screamed in horror and pushed the raccoon off, quickly returning his hair to the style that had taken four hours of his time that morning before he had gotten Chiara to help. Just because she completed it in five minutes, doesn’t mean his effort should be forgotten.   
Skin picked up the raccoon and started stroking his fur. The raccoon settled down on her lap and fell asleep. She started considering asking Cristiana if they could adopt him and call him Fred. She pulled her IPhone out of her pocket, and dialled Christiana’s number. 

Elio immediately moved away from her. Fred had turned his evil eyes towards him and flicked his claws out with a click.

“That thing is evil!” Elio insisted. “It’s cursed”

“NO.” Mika snapped. “Only Andy is a cursed cryptid raccoon.” Andy grinned 

“It’s true” He agreed.

A crew member poked his head around the door. “It’s time to get ready for the episode” He told them. Elio, Skin, Mika and Andy all left Fedez to change into his ratty shorts and t-shirt. Andy sat on Mika’s slightly more tasteful sofa as he got changed.   
“Do you really think we can hide this?” Mika asked, pulling off his scarf and shirt.

“Yes.” Andy replied, staring pointedly at Mika’s chest, more to make him blush than for any actual desire to be staring at that moment. As if on cue Mika turned a brilliant shade of tomato red.

“You won’t be able to do that soon” Andy told him mournfully.

“Do what?” Mika asked, sitting on the floor, attempting to tug off his unbearably tight skinny jeans. As they came off, Mika felt the tingly feeling of blood returning to his legs as he grabbed his suit trousers off a nearby rack.

“Blush. No blood movement when you’re dead” Andy pointed out. Mika winced.

“Do you have to say dead like that?” 

“Like what”

“so- I dunno- so casually. Like death is nothing. I mean- its death. It’s like-” Mika paused, lost in thought. Andy bundled him into a bear hug. 

“I get it. You don’t have to explain yourself. I’m sorry.” He whispered in Mika’s ear. Mika relaxed in his arms and enjoyed the warmth for a few moments, before pulling away.

“I have to get ready.” Mika said pulling on the decorative scar to cover the bite marks. They had healed over at a superhuman speed and were barely visible, mostly just shiny scar tissue, but Mika didn’t want to risk unnecessary questions.  
Once he had finished changing, Mika kissed Andy on the cheek and left to join the others.

Elio and Skin were chatting and laughing loudly, and Fedez was checking his hair in the little handheld foldable make up mirror he had stolen from Chiara. Mika was careful to avoid the mirror until Fedez had determined that his hair looked as much ‘fuckboy’ as usual, and he slipped it back into his invisible pocket on the back of his obscenely bright trainers. 

Mika recoiled in horror at the sight of the repulsive trainers. His hand came to his mouth as he released an exaggerated gasp of shock, causing the entire group of XFactor workers who had congregated in the room to turn in surprise and worry towards the little group.

“Just because florescent colours exist in nature” Mika growled angrily, “doesn’t mean there is any excuse to wear it” Fedez smirked and attempted to stand a little bit taller in indignation before realising he still barely came up to Mika’s shoulder.

“At least I’m not wearing a weird scarf. What happened? Did Andy bite you or something?” Mika’s eyebrow twitched. Fedez was referring to something else, but didn’t realise exactly how correct his phrasing had been.

“OMG” Fedez squealed. Elio mimed throwing up in Skin’s odd tall hat. Fedez didn’t seem to notice. “Do you really have a HICKEY” He shouted the last word as loudly as he could, reaching upwards to whip the scarf away from Mika’s neck, but before he could, the booming voice of Alessandro Cattelan announced his name and Fedez made his way up to the judges table. 

The auditions passed rather uneventfully, with Fedez making suggestive eyebrow wiggles every time the cameras were trained on the XFactor hopefuls rather than the judges. At one point, Skin got so fed up of his behaviour, she aimed a kick at his leg, but her heels struck Mika’s shin instead. Mika held back a yell, eyes watering with pain.

When the auditions were over, Mika returned to his dressing room to change back into his street clothes. 

Andy had fallen asleep on the little sofa Mika had decorated the place with exactly for that purpose. It was a common misconception that vampires didn’t sleep, or only slept in coffins but Andy had always been able to rest his head on any available surface and easily fall into dreamland. 

He was making little noises in his sleep and moving a little bit with his dream. Mika smiled at him softly and got changed as quietly as possible so as to not wake him too soon.

When he was completely ready, he gently perched on an unoccupied section of the sofa and ran his hand up the side of Andy’s face. For the first time since the Count had appeared and disappeared like a malevolent wraith, Andy felt, to Mika, like a normal body temperature.

“It’s because your transformation is nearly complete.” Andy told him, voice slightly groggy from sleep. “We are the same temperature now. We should get home quickly.” 

“Why?” Mika asked.

“I wasn’t joking about Riga mortis, you know.” Andy said seriously.

“What is Riga mortis?”

“it’s when the muscles stiffen after death. You won’t be able to move, and it will be really scary, but it will pass.” Andy explained. Mika nodded apprehensively. 

They both walked out to the little car park to get back into the car, passing Fedez, who was being physically restrained by Chiara, and shouting HICKEY over and over again and waving his hand wildly in Mika’s general direction. Chiara waved them goodbye, still pinning Fedez to the wall with one hand.

“You would think that a guy who spends so much time in the Gym would be stronger than that.” Andy mused. Mika shrugged. He was feeling very sleepy.

The car ride passed mostly in silence, with Mika resting his head gently against the window, feeling his eyes slowly drooping shut. All his muscles felt very heavy, way more heavy then they usually got when he was sleep deprived. He tried to turn to Andy to complain, but found he couldn’t move.

“Andy! I can’t move!” Mika hissed. Andy nodded.

“It happened sooner than I expected.” He parked the car in the driveway and climbed out. Mika watched in horror as Andy begun to walk towards the house and unlocked the door with the key, disappearing inside.  
Was Andy going to just leave him there? He had complained how annoying this stage was. Maybe he wanted Mika out of the way for the whole thing, and Mika couldn’t really stop him.

Before his thoughts could wander too far again, Andy opened the car door and wrapped Mika up in a woolly blanket. He picked Mika and the blanket up and carried him into the house and through all of the doors he had just opened and upstairs to the bedroom.   
Andy pulled back the covers with one hand and laid Mika down with his head on the pillow, tucking the blankets up around him. Mel and Amira jumped up and joined him on the bed. 

“Go to sleep. When you wake up, it will be over and you will be a fully-fledged vampire” Andy whispered as he turned off the light. Mika’s eyes felt so heavy, and the dogs warmth was seeping through the blankets making him feel so comfortable, so, Mika closed his eyes, and fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment and kudos on this shit if you don't think its, well, SHIT


End file.
